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DREA & SAMHonestly, we're just two girls a long way from home trying to get by with a little help from our friends and this blog apparently. Sam, SPARKY, is in Bloomingtom, Indiana for 10 months of the year and Drea, IGOTNOTHING, is in Boston, Mass. for those 10 months but every so often, they find themselves "comfortably" at home in Los Angeles, Ca. We're pretty cool, no lie. |
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Sunday, May 10, 2009
So, let go. There was a time in my life where I despised my mother as much as anyone could despise another human being. I didn't like her for the person she was. I don't mean in the "life-is-unfair-she-never-lets-me-drive-her-car-i-hate-my-mom" kind of hate. No one ever really means "I hate you" when it has to do with setting parental limits. I said it. I meant it. It was through pain, through tears, through ultimate acts of betrayal that I hated her. The kind of person she was. The scar she left on my heart time after time. The person I was. I thrived on hating her. Reminded myself time after time that I'd never forgive her. It was exhausting. I remember when saying "I love you, too" felt like a lie deep within my stomach, a feeling I never want to feel again. I wondered if I could ever let go, if it were even possible. Turns out it is. When I think of tough times we've had together, it hurts but I no longer feel resentment, just more relief that its in the past. I loveee you mama wholeheartedly & I appreciate everything you've ever done for me throughout my entire life. Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for being in my life. 11:50 PM
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